Spirits, But Make It Ethical: Boundaries, Consent & Responsibility
Just because I can connect to spirits doesn’t mean I should at all times, whenever I want, or with whoever I want. That would be reckless. I always explain that being a medium is in the same realm as being a therapist. There are boundaries at play with both the people receiving readings and the spirits on the other side, as well as responsibilities and consent.
ABILITY HOLDS POWER AND WEIGHT
Having a mediumship ability holds a lot of power and weight. When I do readings, spirit gives me a TON of information about their own lives while they were living and the sitter’s life. Some of this can be sensitive and heavy, like suicide, miscarriages and other traumatic events.
I’m trusted on both sides of the fence; spirit is trusting me with receiving information about themselves and accurately articulating it to their loved one sitting in front of me. The person I’m reading for (the sitter) is allowing themselves to be completely vulnerable, trusting me to tap in, connect, and access that information responsibly.
LET’S TALK ABOUT CONSENT
You would never walk into someone’s house uninvited, right? Just like I would never walk up to someone on the street and tell them that their deceased friend has a message. I would never ambush anyone. Period.
Consent in mediumship is non-negotiable!
I never want to catch anyone off guard and not everyone is open to a reading, which is totally fine. Respect for people in grief is always my number priority. That’s why I seldom do any kind of random public readings. I’ve actually only done one in my entire life. Even with that reading, I asked for consent and permission before diving in.
BOUNDARIES FOR THE LIVING AND THE DEAD
I hold strict boundaries with both spirits and the people I read for, in order to protect my own time, energy, and well… sanity. If you’re thinking, “I understand boundaries for people, but for spirits? Why?” well, let me give you the rundown.
Spirits are still people, they just don’t have a physical body. They are conscious, expansive, and filled with energy. Before I started holding boundaries, I was being bombarded by spirits day in and day out. When I was very young, they would show up by my bed in the middle of the night. I would hear multiple spirits talking to me at once, all day long, asking me to get messages to people or looking for support.
All totally understandable, but I needed to make some new rules.
Boundaries that I hold with spirit include:
Not visiting me during my off hours
Only spirits related to the sitter are allowed to come through or people that know the sitter in order to get a message to someone else
Speaking one at a time! Sometimes it’s a party and everyone is talking over eachother.
Leaving my space when I end a reading and not hanging around
Boundaries I hold for the living:
I don’t give readings on command, randomly
I don’t read people without their consent
I don’t “tap in” just because I’m curious
I don’t cross the line into therapy, medical, or legal advice
I respect emotional boundaries and won’t push someone to receive something they’re not ready for
WHEN MEDIUMSHIP BECOMES MESSY
If you’ve had a medium reading and it looks like any of the below, it was unethical. You should never be put in a situation where you are being taken advantage of, your grief isn’t being put into focus or your loved ones or life isn’t being respected.
Fear based messaging
Crossing emotional lines
Building a form of dependency on readings
Fishing for information instead of receiving it from spirit
Sharing graphic or traumatic information without care
WHAT ETHICAL MEDIUMSHIP LOOKS LIKE
When you leave a mediumship reading feeling like you’re on the best kind of high that is full of comfort, excitement, and happy tears, you know you’ve experienced ethical, meaningful mediumship.
There are clear boundaries
The whole vibe of the reading feels grounded and at ease
Spirits and sitters are both respected
The sitter feels that they can trust the medium
The medium holds space for your emotions and gives you the space you need
The medium delivers information with care
The medium asks for your consent before giving you a reading or messages
Mediumship is sacred work and should always be approached with care. Like all things made of energy, it requires clear boundaries and responsibility, whether we’re talking about the medium, the sitter, or the spirits coming through.
Thank you for reading!
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